Customers.Com

After working behind the bar long enough to have evolved webs between my toes, I must admit, I have gotten pretty impatient with rude, stupid, and ignorant guests. I have grown into the type of bartender who will do anything to make a patrons experience at my bar more enjoyable if they are just cordial. But, the second guests are rude to me or start acting in socially offensive ways, I basically ignore them to the best of my ability. When I do have to talk to them, I try to walk a fine line of being just rude enough back to them so they get the point, but they wont get angry enough to tell my management. I could care less if they stiff me, I just don’t want to rack up a bunch of complaints. You know how Expedia.com and other sites offer forums where customers can talk about the establishment you work at and even you directly? People get to bitch and moan about the service, food, drinks, or whatever was making their pussy hurt at the time. Well, I want to start a site called Customers.com, where all of us in the service industry can rate and judge our customers. Its only fair. So, tonight I had two very nice couples on my bar visiting from Boston. They were drinking Macallan 18 year old single malt Scotch and having a good time celebrating a special occasion. Towards the end of the night, one of the gentleman asked me if we had any cigars. I regretfully informed him we didn’t and all the shops in the area are closed. Since they were so polite to me all evening, I started to think of a solution. I called the security department that handles the block and explained I would like to open up the store next door to get two cigars for my guests. Of course, they gave me tons of shit, but I eventually talked them into it. I got two Macanudos and passed them over to the guys telling them it was a gift from me. They were so amazed I had somehow materialized cigars at this late hour, they immediately dropped fifty dollars on the bar for me! After they went outside and smoked them, they gave me another forty dollars. And that, my friends, is how the game is played correctly.