The Cup Of Shame

The busy season has finally arrived at my bar which is great because I am currently broker than a crack smoker. I have been scheduled twelve shifts in a row, the last one being New Years Eve. Thankfully, after the first three bonecrushers, I have eased into the transition from goofing around and playing jokes on other employees to standing in the same spot for hours on end pounding out cocktail orders with barely time to sip on a Red Bull. Unfortunately, some of my cocktail waitresses are finding it hard to shift into the higher gears. For instance, tonight they kept forgetting to pull their drink tickets after frantically grabbing their cocktails. Every bartender can relate to what I am talking about here. Fucking pull your tickets you lazy bitches! How fucking hard is it? I came up with a solution for this years ago. At first, I just did it as a one time joke, but upon witnessing the effectiveness my prank, I decided to keep it around for nights like this. I wrote “Cup of Shame” in big black letters on a cocktail napkin and taped it to a rocks glass. I set it on the bar for everyone to see and all the drink tickets that the were left stranded, I relocated into the cup. I told the incompetent waitresses I was going to show the contents in the cup to one of the managers at the end of the night as evidence of them failing miserably to perform such a menial part of their job. Suddenly they decided to clean up after themselves. This evening was no exception. Works every time! Only nine more nights to go…