A Barfly On The Wall

The last couple of weeks have been relatively slow and uneventful at my bar. While this hasn’t been great on the pocket-book…it is nice to be working shorter and fewer shifts. So tonight…I closed up early and decided to have a quick beer at the local dive bar before they did last call. This particular establishment is a true Star Wars Bar attracting shady characters from all over the universe. Fights, drug deals, heavy cocaine usage, prostitution and general drunken debauchery are all served generously. When I go there…my routine is always the same: I walk in dead sober after a night of work, quickly grab a Corona, find a safe vantage point where I can keep an eye on everyone and proceed to enjoy the entertainment sure to present itself.  A barfly on the wall. As I sipped my beer…I observed the crowd and one guy really stuck out. He was pounding Jager shots followed with bottles of Heineken and displaying the usual signs of being overly marinated in alcohol. Seconds after I noticed him…an inbebriated young couple staggered up to the bartender asking for a cab. The bartender…who was probably more drunk than the couple…instead of getting on a phone and calling a taxi…waves over the Jager swilling man and asks if he is working. Turns out this jackass is a cab driver! He accepts the fare, finishes another Heineken and drives the couple away in his cab that was parked outside. I was witnessing a first hand glimpse at absolute insanity through the collective actions of four people. It felt like watching a skit from Saturday Night Live. That was the most amazingly stupid event I have seen in a bar in a long time. I finished my beer in disbelief and carefully drove home…hoping I wouldn’t encounter the Crash Cab.