Edward Jiggerhands

About nine years ago…the owners of the bar I work at put all the bartenders through a three day class from Bar Stars focusing on the technical aspects of the profession…mainly the art of free pouring accurate and various portions of an ounce using both hands simultaneously. In an effort to speed up our productivity…we were told that if we passed the course…we could ditch our jiggers forever and free pour away. Of course, we all passed with flying colors and have been jigger free ever since. Any bartender worth his salt on the rim understands that jiggers add a thousand extra steps to every shift. Jiggers are a crutch and should be utilized by rookie bartenders only. If you can’t master the count…you would be better fitted working in a brew pub pouring beer for college kids or at a winery serving cork dorks…not mixing cocktails at a bar. So tonight…I came in for my shift and was immediately informed by my donkey of a manager that a new policy was now in place. All bartenders have to use jiggers as of this evening. I almost shit myself. Are you fucking kidding me? Why don’t you take a few jiggers and stuff them up your ass! Would you tell Michael Phelps he had to swim in the Olympics wearing a fucking pink flotation vest? Seriously, go fuck yourself…the last thing I want to do is strap on a set of training wheels in the race to make my living. I expressed numerous thoughts on the absurdity of what they were asking us to do, and completely ignored the new agenda…happily free pouring for the beginning of the night. However, after a few scoldings, followed with the threat of being written up, I finally made a valid attempt to use my jigger. What a joke. At the end of the evening…I took some duct tape and attached four jiggers between the fingers on my left hand and showed the creation to my manager…look…I am Edward Jiggerhands! The jackass didn’t laugh. I did. Fuck jiggers.

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12 Responses to Edward Jiggerhands

  1. Just a reminder for you:

    While indeed novice bartenders might need to use jiggers and more skilled bartenders can free pour, all premium cocktail joints use jiggers to ensure accuracy and consistency in their drinks.

    While free pouring gin & tonics and maybe even Manhattans all night is fine, the moment that you have a more complicated recipe that calls for 2oz, 1oz, .5oz, and .25oz of something, there’s no way you could make 5 of them while free pouring that taste exactly the same.

    • Freddy says:

      Bullshit. I can free-pour .25, 1oz, .5oz 1.5oz or literally exactly enough for a round of 20 shots (including accounting for meltage) all night EVERY night. That’s what’s demanded of where I work. You have no idea what you’re talking about. Jiggers are best left for 75 year old dudes in the wainscoated halls of JP Morgan executive-infested private clubs serving Louis XIII.

  2. Mandy says:

    Most bartenders aren’t carefully putting together special cocktails all night, and if they are, they are probably not working in a place where speed is key. At high-volume spots, cranking out the usual suspects beverage wise, it sucks not being able to free pour.
    Repetition night after night for years can make a person shockingly accurate with measurements- When I was a teen making pizzas I could pluck out the exact amount of olives or whatever I needed, to the .25 ounce. These days I can nail a 6-ounce wine pour every time.
    It’s especially insulting if you’ve been rocking the bar jigger free for years. I swear they pull management candidates off the short bus.

  3. Who invited the corporate dork to this party (DJHawaiianShirt)? Although we appreciate your condescending reminder of what it takes to be consistent and accurate, and while your in-depth research and staggering stats regarding “all premium cocktail joints” is impressive, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you’re an idiot. I live in the S.F. Bay Area and have been to dozens of “premium cocktail joints” and I would estimate that 88.3567% of them aren’t using jiggers. Just well-trained bartenders.

    If you think that it’s impossible for professional bartenders like ourselves to make 5 cocktails with multiple ingredients taste exactly the same, you’re what’s wrong with this industry. Do you see the great chefs of the world using measuring cups and tablespoons to measure their ingredients to provide a consistent outcome? Even at the “premium food joints”?

    You HAVE to be one of those Master Mixologist corporate trainer dweebs who loves to use his mixology education to show other bartenders why they are doing it wrong.

    Caveman’s right, bartending is about great cocktails, but it’s also about being trusted to use your skills to put on a show for the guests and make them happy. To ask a seasoned bartender to use a jigger is flat out insulting and condescending. I feel for you Caveman. Your manager can go fuck himself!

    The RB

    • Nah, I’m not a bartender or a corporatist, just a cocktail hobbyist. I don’t have a manager.

      Though you may be right, my “all premium cocktail joints” statement might have been a bit exaggerated. I admit that fault.

      There are plenty of cocktail barmen who won’t make drinks unless they’re able to measure precisely, and plenty other bar managers who insist on the same thing. Also, plenty of chefs measure their ingredients when overdoing it or underdoing it will greatly affect the flavor outcome.

  4. AJR says:

    If I may jump in here real quick….

    First, the issue that I got from Caveman’s post wasn’t necessarily “FREE POUR GOOD, JIGGER BAD!!!” (although I’m positive he feels that way). I think, and understandably so, the frustration comes from the arbitrary implementation of a new pouring policy. Each bar has its own culture. Clearly, caveman’s bar is being asked to square the circle. Right or wrong, it’s naturally going to piss bartenders off when you do that.

    Second, as each bar has its own culture, using a jigger is neither a sign of high sophistication nor a sign of outright amateurism. Mandy was right, speed is the key. And if a business decision was made that absolute speed was more important than dead-on-balls accuracy, then they probably aren’t using a jigger. That’s a business decision.

    Third, congrats TheRealBarman on taking this discussion to an absurd level at break-neck speed. DJHawaiianShirt, not matter what he said, doesn’t deserve to be called an “idiot,” “dweeb” or “dork.” It’s fun to play “Big Man on Campus” on the internet dude. People do it everyday. Just please don’t act like you’re being brilliant or original.

  5. Caveman says:

    I want to thank The Real Barman for basically saying what I felt like saying after reading DJ’s ignorant comment.
    DJ…no offense…but how in the hell can you even comment on the use of a jigger at a bar? You are a barpretender that mixes drinks at home and obviously have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. You might not have a manager, but you should become one. You fit the profile.

    • I don’t spend all my time mixing at home… I go to plenty of craft cocktail bars as well. While not all such bars measure their ingredients, every one I’ve been to does… none of them free pour.

      Then again, many of the ones I’m talking about are the kind of establishments that have patron capacities… they make you wait outside if it’s full, and so are never slammed with customers in an environment which using jiggers would hinder. (I’m an avid follower of your site… I realize that your bar gets slammed often.)

      I didn’t mean to be condescending, I just meant to point out that there are plenty of bartenders (almost always in the kind of bars mentioned above) who would still measure their ingredients if it weren’t for their managers’ policies. I made a mistake by saying “all” cocktail bars, when I simply meant “many”. I apologize for that.

      Regardless of our disagreement, Caveman, from one blogger to another, I love your site and keep up the good work.

  6. MikeQ says:

    Looks like you hit a nerve, Caveman. Class warfare — bartenders vs management. Using a shot glass or jiggar DOUBLES the time of making drinks. Some establishments address this problem by adding more bartenders (which of course cuts tips.)

    You can teach someone how to accurately free pour to the quarter ounce in fifteen or twenty minutes. A simple count of “1-2-3-4″ for the house pour gives you “2″ for a half-pour, “1″ for a quarter. With a little real time practice a professional bartender can develop a count as accurate as a musician in an orchestra — where they coordinated sixteen and eighteenth notes accurately.

    Some establishments might use jiggars “for show”, as part of the “craft cocktail” scene. (I’ve seen videos on you tube where some bartenders — scratch that, I mean “mixologists” — seem to take PRIDE in how long it takes them to make a drink.) But let’s face it, the real reason for jiggars in the minds of management is control. They feel they’ll keep bartenders from overpouring.

  7. Mandy says:

    At the high-end restaurant that is my second gig, the bartenders use jiggers for their specialty cocktails. It also takes 15-20 minutes sometimes to get said drinks on tables, which is a constant frustration. It’s not uncommon to have the table cancel the order, or just be steamed with us and leave shitty yelp comments like “the server forgot to put our drink order in.” Just saying.
    Caveman: I’m won’t jump on the bash-wagon, but that last comment about management material is Classic.

  8. Alice. says:

    It’s sort of amusing to read your utter outrage on being forced to use jiggers again from an Australian point of view as our RSA licensing (responsible service of alcohol) requires that we use a jigger every time we pour a drink or risk being fined by RSA marshals. In most bars that i’ve heard of, free pouring means risking your job. Us poor aussies are forever encumbered by these awful things!

  9. Penelope says:

    My sympathies Caveman, jiggers suck. The automatic pourers are even worse. I have never had a customer happy to see either.

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