“In the army, we do more before 9am than most people do all day.” This is the governments way of selling a dream. It sounds more like a fucking nightmare to me. Working as a professional bartender in the evenings allows me to enjoy one of the great luxuries of life…sleeping in. I never set my alarm, always turn my phone to vibrate and wake up when I damn well please…usually around one in the afternoon. Two…on the more ambitious days. So tonight…we were moderately busy with a thirsty crowd at the bar for the better part of my shift. It was your typical walk in the park. The other bartender I was working with showed up twenty minutes late, the cocktail waitresses did a wonderful job of not performing their job, the manager stood around watching ESPN on one of the bar televisions during crunch time and the micros broke down twice. For a nightcap…I had a jackass sit with me who in our brief conversation stated that he was a big time accountant from New Zealand. He had one beer at $3.75 and paid with a crispy hundred-dollar bill. I thanked him and handed him his change. He looked me genuinely in the eyes and said, “This is for you mate.” I glanced down at the bar to see he had left me exactly one quarter. Wow. I guess during accounting school he had learned how to round-up. I am not a fucking gumball machine. People who are successful in their respective countries…yet completely fail at respecting the means by which other cultures exist…completely baffle me. How in the fuck can you run before you can walk? I am going to have to sleep in on this one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_u9Jk6mQABE Fuck worms.
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