Dr. Duck

I am somewhat lucky to be a bartender that has health insurance coverage provided to me by my employer. However…personally…I try to stay away from hospitals as much as is humanly possible. The traditional American health care system is an absolute joke and you are a fool if you trust those miseducated crooks with your well-being. Unfortunately, sometimes life catches up and I am forced into a dreaded visit to the hospital. Which leads me to the reason I haven’t been able to share a tale over the last couple of weeks. I went wakeboarding on my day off and suffered a horrible wipe out…wrenching my right shoulder and arm. The pain was so extreme initially…I was positive I had dislocated it…and made an appointment at the doctors. After surviving the horrors of the waiting room…I finally got to see the quack…and explained the nature of my injury in detail. He immediately thought it was neck trauma. No…you fucking jackass…I just told you I fell on my arm…not my head…I have excessive pain in my lower shoulder leading down to my wrist…and am very concerned because I make my living as a bartender. He prodded around some more and brilliantly deduced…tendonitis! Dr. Duck gave me a wrist brace…yes…a wrist brace…some vicodin…and sent me on my way. Believe it. At least my insurance paid for the pain killers and the visit to retardland. The next day I saw a private specialist out of my pocket. He diagnosed me with severely torn shoulder muscles and physically went to work on me in between laser treatments. I walked out feeling immensely better and confident in the fact that I now understood exactly what was wrong with my arm. Several days of rest and very light shoulder specific stretches and I am back behind the bar. Tendonitis my ass.