I am a single forty plus year old bartender. I have never been married, have no kids, and all of my serious relationships have ended in a catastrophic climax after a year or so. Finally…having learned my lesson…I happily abandoned the pursuit of a significant bother over two years ago…trading the quest for love in for the love of the one night stand. Women are incredibly observant creatures. Young and single girls come into the bar, immediately see me as the pig I have become, and run to the hills…older and married ones come in…witness me proudly swilling in my swine status…and smell a ripe opportunity to have some fun on the side. Yes…I have slept with a few married women. However, my conscience is clear because I don’t believe in the laws and rules associated with wedlock. Along with religion and politics…marriage is just another illusion created by our thriving society of fucking lemmings…another foolish fallacy of how and why we are expected to live our lives. I wouldn’t take it too seriously. If a loser bartender can break through the sacred institutions walls with relative ease and gorge on the forbidden fruits inside…the structure must be pretty weak. So tonight…as we approached last call…a stunning blonde lady I had served all evening along with her owner…broke away from the husband and approached me at the bar. After a bit of small talk, she bluntly asked for my number. I replied dryly with a…why?…as I glanced at the rock displayed on her ring finger. Without missing a beat, she said, “You know why.” Game on! I quickly scribbled my number on a cocktail napkin and slyly handed it across the bar to her. I hope she calls. Sometimes it’s fun to bring your work home with you.
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